I have a lot of baggage as regards femininity, and any relationships that edge over into hierarchical territory. For that reason, owning and training horses is, well, fraught. They, like women, are beautiful, powerful, sensual, and sensitive. They want to connect, have their own hearts and minds, and navigate herds with sophisticated skills and a high level of perceptiveness. They are richly nuanced creatures, with more depth and potential for two-way communication and contributions than many of us (especially me) tend to remember to give them credit for.
Men are this way as well. All of us are. We are all of us worlds within worlds, and reducing any one of us to a tool, or even an accessory, is insulting. It’s depersonalizing, and violating, too. I am proceeding in my relationship with Tundra oh so aware of my own tendency to carry on this chain, rather than break it. Animals are so often reduced to their material possession status, and horses in particular, who are so incredibly trainable, often get relegated to a “carry me, and make me look good by how you do it” status.
So this particular walk and talk is me trying to do a couple of precise little back and forths with my mare while preserving the atmosphere of mutual respect, closeness, affection, and calm that she shows at the outset. I think this is possible to maintain even at a full gallop, IF I don’t add those unbalanced extremes of anger, fear, or shame to the mix. It’s, again, not easy or simple, but it is possible. So I carry on, feeling very privileged to have this particular opportunity (on this particularly lovely day).
Happy Wednesday. Come join me in the round pen. There is room for you!
