This is the longest video I’ve posted and I’m sorry for that, but that’s the point actually. I’m spending quantity time with my horse here, and I’m doing so not with a goal in mind beyond spending time together.
I’ve cut out a lot of us just wandering around and focused on the connection points, but there are a lot of them, and at the end, oh my word! She is blissing out with me in a way I’ve not experienced before. I could get used to this caramel gooey affectionate sort of vibe (I really need to get used to soft emotions in general, so thank you, Tundra.)
In short, I’m playing with the way I am with an animal I have previously thought I must “lead” through various levels and intensities of control. Operant and classical conditioning, repetitive learning, desensitization and sensitization techniques, and generally imposing my plan on my horse, are all what I’m familiar and comfortable with. This video is me free-styling a way of relating that is much LESS comfortable, but I think it was worth the cognitive effort for the emotional and physical relaxation you can see from start to finish (in both of us!).
Heidi is my videographer and asks great questions!
I am very grateful to Deborah Marshall of Generation Farms for her mentorship and the training (virtual and in person) experiences that led to this massive shift in paradigms as regards leadership with an animal. The parallels for me as a woman and a person who has often functioned in hierarchical relationships are, well, pretty direct.
And of course, I do need to be the “leader” and take charge often of my horses, dogs, my own body, my team, etc, etc. at times. But how that feels when interspersed with relational “hangouts” like this one is very, very different.
I am so grateful to have the privilege of living with these creatures. They are so generous and warm and reflective of whatever we truly project. It’s a lovely way to learn about myself and yet also gain the benefit of their trust, wisdom and offered affection back.
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