This was such a gentle, non-eventful, soft little walk with our beautiful Paint mare, BlueJay. It was an experiment (again!) for me in non-resistance rather than the normal pushiness I like to inhabit. BlueJay’s “aura” is pure goodwill, and she thoroughly enjoys being loved, and petted, and made much of, but most especially she enjoys getting more attention than the other two.
It occurs to me that I also (or parts of me) enjoy being made much of, and a chance to simply wander around without worrying about new, different, scary, adventurous, or slipping on the ice.
So often my love affair with horses has been so closely tied to the anxiety I have around doing what is slightly more than I’m comfortable with. Having very little opportunity for expert coaching or mentorship has made me unable to start small. It’s been an all or nothing sort of venture. Now, at this end, it feels kind of funny to go to the beginning of a relationship with a horse and just, you know, do a nice greeting, a little introductory sort of walk, a short check-in, rather than diving into my plans for using her to achieve Big Goals.
I have figured out (thanks in large part to absolutely unbreakable limits) that the small, unimportant, mundane, routine, moderately sized interactions add up. Gentleness and a slow conversation are extremely friendly to trust.
I was vacuuming the other day and noticing how easily I get frustrated and take it out on the “tool” - the central vac with its long hose that tangles and pulls and catches and generally is less than perfectly cooperative. I yank, and start to move more fiercely, clean more savagely, until all of the furniture and rugs are thoroughly scared into submission. It’s so very easy to think of animals as tools. It’s even easy to think of other people as tools. It’s definitely not a stretch to think of my body, my mind, or my heart as simple objects - to be yanked and pulled and shouted into place.
Anyway, that’s the tone and slow idea of this video. It left me feeling peaceful, grateful, and safe. I felt a good deal of reflected contentment from this lovely mare. Not a long or difficult challenge, but it kinda made my day…
